No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just had sex bonerless
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
is that a dick in a sweater?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
