Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I'm having to shit out rocks
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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