never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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