dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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