it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
