ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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