He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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