I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
