NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
