Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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