how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
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