In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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