Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
