North Korea, Best Korea!
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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