Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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