Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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