Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
