Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
That accounts for only three of the penises
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
