She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I lost the right to judge tonight
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
