glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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