There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
