FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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