A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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