We're like a lot better than the average bears
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
