Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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