She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
