what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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