I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
