On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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