You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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