Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
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