I am puke
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
