quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
