I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
