Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
