Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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