we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
the liver wants what the liver wants
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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