Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize