like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
