OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
