omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize