I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
