her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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