It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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