At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
NoShamevember. You game?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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