Tell her she can't have a vagina
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
