It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
