Umm I'm too high to move.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Randomize
