I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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