She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
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