He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize