guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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