i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
