As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
