so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
