Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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